voxsartoria

“First of all,” Charlie said, “when people ask me if I’m married, I always say, ‘Yes, but I’m not a fanatic about it.’ So here’s Number One: Do not wear bows all the time. Keep the viewer off balance. Wear them once in a while, the way you might eat liver.

“Number Two: Never wear a bow tie to an interview or a pitch for new business. People will concentrate on the tie rather than on what you are saying.

“Number Three: In the men’s-clothing business ten percent of tie sales were in bows … forever. Today it’s fifteen percent or twenty percent, which is unprecedented. This tells me that there is such ambiguity of roles today that men are desperate to assert something.

“Number Four: You would be amazed at the practical reasons people wear bows. Doctors have always worn them, because patients can’t reach up and yank on them the way they could with the four-in-hands. Certain men wear them in the summer because they eat more salads. Dressing can splash on long ties.

“And Number Five: Men who wear bow ties care more about themselves than they do about you.”

—  as told to John D. Spooner